Football at The Extremes

Football at the extremes

For Cards fans Gateshead was the most distant point of our football lives. In The Highlands, Ross County’s Victoria Park is the northern most professional ground in the UK.
But for truly extreme football Greenland is the place.

T’is grim oop North / Going Southbound

With over 100 registered teams, but no roads between any of Greenland’s towns, matches are first played locally. Eight sides then emerge from regional qualifiers to contest the National Championship, converging on one town for the tournament. The northern most club can come from from around Qaannaaq, (Thule) as in 1971 when “Tupillakken 71” took the title back with them above the 77th parallel, over 700 miles inside the Arctic Circle (just 950 miles from the North Pole) to make them the most northerly club in the world to win a National Championship.

Most recently G-44 from Qeqertarsuaq (Godhavn) on the island of Disko, were the 2009 hosts, reaching the final against FC Malamuk of Uummanaqq from the far north. Manager Gunnar Zeeb named his 4 sons in the team. Nepotism? Hardly, his side ran out 3-0 winners to take the title for the first time. Hans-Jorgen, and Zakorat scoring the goals, Johan-Frederik keeping a clean sheet as goalkeeper while Nuknnguaq lifted the trophy as captain. Of the 800 population of Qeqertarsuaq 600 turned out for the final.

Check out film of the match highlights, a game certainly not for the faint hearted and also the impressive iceberg action during the national song at.…
http://sermitsiaq.gl/tv/article93983.ece

Players travelling to Disko were aware that it was the scene of Greenland football’s greatest tragedy.
In August 2004, Karl Olsen, Martin Larsen, and Kristian Davidsen left Aasiaat by boat for a veterans’ game in Qeqertarsuaq. The trip only takes an hour but Disko Bay is littered with smaller islands and returning home, the trio got lost. An air and sea search could not locate them and was called off a week later. In June 2005 the three players were found on Hareoe Island, where their boat had got stuck.
They had written SOS in stones on a beach and built a driftwood shelter but had little chance of surviving the Arctic winter and froze to death - all for a game of football.

At the other extreme, Buenos Aries, one of the world’s most southerly capitals hosted the World Cup Final. But true extreme football is to be found on Tierra del Fuego, the very tip of South America. Ushuaia, the world’s southernmost city and just a short hop from
Antarctica, is growing fast thanks to tourism.

Los Cuervos (Ravens) + celeb fan

As often happens, football flourishes in tandem with the community, and the Ushuaian league champions Los Cuervos del Fin del Mundo this year became the first team from the region to take part in the Argentine FA’s Torneo del Interior. This mammoth tournament involves 267 teams from around Argentina, with the prize of promotion to Argentino B. It resembles non-league football with part-time players, modest stadia and crowds from around 600 up to 3-4,000. The Ravens won their regional group to reach the last 64, then defeated Deportivo Jupiter of Piedra Buena over two legs to progress to the next round, but missed out on making the last 16 losing to Boca of Rio Gallegos 3-2 on aggregate.

Can we play you every week?
At the other end of the scale from Argentino C, The Isles of Scilly has the world’s smallest league with just two teams. In the 1920’s the Lyonnesse Inter-Island Cup between St Marys, Tresco, St Martins, Bryher, and St Agnes, was initiated. But by the 1950s, with outward migration for employment, and the lack of schooling for over 16’s, only two clubs remained - the Rangers and the Rovers. In 1984 the teams, using two landmarks close by St Mary’s only football pitch changed their names to Garrison Gunners and Woolpack Wanderers.
At the start of each season, officials of the two teams and the players meet in a pub, and the squads are picked - school playground style.
The season is made up of 17 games comprising 14 league fixtures, The Foredeck Cup (over 2 legs) The Wholesalers Cup, – and of course the season starts with The Charity Shield.

Highs and Lows.
Did you know that Woking’s finest hour took place at the highest top level football ground in the UK – the Hawthorns altitude 551ft – but that is unlikely to change, and is dwarfed by the real extremes.

FIFA recently said no Internationals above 8200ft (2500m.) Most affected was La Paz, Bolivia, at 11,932ft and the Ecuadorian capital Quito at 9,350ft. It would be interesting to know how FIFA decided on 2,500m. There may be health risks above this altitude, but it also neatly excludes little Bolivia while sparing the politically powerful Mexico, the Azteca Stadium is a mere 2,200m above sea level, also leaving clubs free to play anywhere, even up to the Daniel Alcides Carrión stadium in Cerro de Pasco, Peru. It is 13,973 ft above sea level and home to Union Minas who came close to winning the Peruvian “Conference “ and going pro. Unsurprisingly most teams hate to play there, as they are severely handicapped by the lack of oxygen.
Take a deep breath lads


Incredibly Cerro de Pasco has another claim to fame. The struggling 1st Division team from Huancayo, (pronounced; hoo–ank-eye-yo) re-located to the home of Union Minas. It was an attempt to avoid relegation by making rivals play in the testing conditions, of the thin air and cold. It didn’t work and they dropped out Peru’s top division, incurring the wrath of the Peru’s FA, but curiously selling 1,000s of replica shirts in the UK, why? The team carried their own name on the shirt…Deportivo Wanka (honest!)

Chile’s Cobreloa at 7,900ft have a combination of the altitude and wealthy copper mining connections to thank for their record of 8 league titles in just over 30 years since they were founded, making them the highest club to achieve domestic success in a major football nation.

In January 2010, as part of FIFA’s effort to integrate the nascent Palestinian state, Dynamo Moscow were due to take on Palestine in Jericho. This would mean the game took place about 850 ft below sea level, not far from the banks of The Dead Sea and therefore is about as low as football can go – no UEFA, Blatter, Henri jokes please.

Early start for the away trip this week lads
We all know that Notts Forest and Notts County, or the two Dundees are a Rory Delap throw from each other - but spare a thought for Vladivostok, on the eastern end of the Trans Siberia Railway, a city whose ‘Lord of the East’ nickname cannot be applied to their football club, the hapless Luch – Vladivostok.

Never a true member of Russia’s footballing aristocracy, Luch have spent only 3 years in the Russian Premier League in their history. Though in one respect they are peerless, the major Russian clubs are concentrated in the west, but Vladivostok isn’t much more than a Ross Worner goal kick away from the North Korean border. (They won’t get their ball back from over that fence.) Luch Vladivostok are miles – thousands of miles – away from their opponents. Only SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk of their current 1st division rivals are remotely near Vladivostok.
So, just the 1,000 mile round trip for the local derby this season then.
So away games mean long-haul flights across several time zones. Luch unsurprisingly accrue most of their points against jeg-lagged opponents at their decrepit Dynamo Stadium. On their travels they manage to accumulate…….. well mostly air miles.
One match this season in particular would tax even the most devoted fan. The trip to Baltika Kaliningrad, from the eponymous Russian enclave on the Baltic coast, is a mere 4,575 miles as the Tupolev 204 flies. Or, a week on the Trans Siberian Railway gets you as far as Moscow – 5771 miles, as the train crawls, just another 660 miles to go.

Honorable mention should also go to;
MLS – Seattle and Houston - 3782miles
Brazil - Porto Alegre and Fortaleza - 2641 miles
Australia - Perth Glory and Brisbane - 2321 miles

I promise I will never moan about Altrincham on
a wet Tuesday night again

Fancy going to Brasil in 2014? - Tales of the Not so Beautiful Game

Pele, Maracana, Zico, female fans who capture every camera man’s attention. Passionate crowds in vibrant stadiums, watching skill and flair.
If I told it was not like this how surprised would you be. If I told you the problem
was TV, politics and bureaucracy, how un-surprised would you be.

State of Play

The Brasillian Football Federation makes the “57 old farts” of the RFU look like radical visionaries. Like the counties in the FA of old, power in the CBF lies with the states, many of which have nothing to offer the game. The powerhouses of Brasillian Football are Sao Paulo, Rio de Janeiro, and Rio Grande du Sul, home to Gremio and Internacional of Porto Alegre. But every state, and their teams, have “political” influence. So the season starts with the largely irrelevant “State” Championships. In many there is one Liverpool, and a host of Southports! In Rio, Flamengo, Vasco, Botofogo and Fluminese have won all but 11 state titles, but have to play; Boavista, Macae, Cabofriense, Tigres, Americano, Mesquita, Resende, Duque de Caxias and Bangu, etc. etc. Predictably these games are of little interest, and big teams often field reserve players, devaluing the product still further.

So small were the crowds that sides like Vasco would rather play in a less than half-full Sao Januario stadium (18,000 capacity) than rent the then 160,000 capacity Maracana
Bangu Prove to be a big attraction again

The Campeonato Brasilleiro is not immune. Even when the league ran smoothly, TV’s demands meant that fixtures were all over the place and friends often didn’t know when games might take place, and where. Attendances, in huge stadiums, average 17,000 and only Belo Horizonte’s Atletico and the Rio giants Flamengo draw anything like premier league crowds. Every game is on TV, Satellite, Pay per view, or easily obtainable pirate satellite. Many of the stadiums are hard to get to, most of them were not modern, there were fights at many games, and you couldn’t get a beer.

TV rules the roost, so the championship decider, was usually a two leg tie, requiring a third game if each team won one match, regardless of the aggregate score – which “somehow” always happened.

The Big Match

As for the actual games; Easter 91 at the Maracana - the area is an iffy proposition, think Millwall in a bad mood – for the Rio derby, Flamengo v Fluminese. With 48,000 fans in the stadium, it was…. …like an agoraphobia workshop, there was no one within 10 yards us. Still, it was fun watching the referee patiently waiting for the TV and Radio interviews to finish, pre-match, at both ends of the half-time break, and even while the substituted player to leaves the pitch. Tragically a year later part of the stadium collapsed, killing three fans, injuring many more, and it was redeveloped from the 200,000 capacity monster, to a 90,000 all-seater venue by the end of the decade

In the middle tier at Sao Paulo’s Morumbi stadium for the 1999 Championship decider, Corinthians v Atletico Mineiro. Transfixed by the colour, the smoke, the atmosphere, and the noise that sounded like a tube train running overhead, until my brother-in-law told me it was the sound of all the fans jumping up and down causing the structure to vibrate.

This was in retrospect even more worrying when I learned that Brasillian fans “recycle” their many cups of “cafezinho” a highly potent type of expresso, in the corridors, stairs, concourses, really anywhere, except the toilets of the stadium, and this was causing the concrete to decay!


Village Football

By 2014 there will be much improvement to stadiums and infrastructure. Perhaps most importantly a TGV style railway linking Rio, Sao Paulo and Campinas, ending the choice of a 7 hour coach trip, complete with the occasional hi-jacking, or a very expensive shuttle flight.
In common with the 2018 bid here, three host cities have no major Club, the capital Brasillia has never had a top flight team. Cuiaba the small city (500,000) in Mato Grosso has spent two decades without
1st Division football, and 900 miles inland on the banks of the Amazon is Manaus, where the biggest club Nacional has not been in the Campeonato Brasilleiro since 1984.

Being, by marriage at least, a Santista, I was able to witness two titles in three years, 2002 and 2004 for the “Village Boys” team that featured Alex, Robinho, Diego, and Elano. So it is sad, if understandable, that the location and redevelopment difficulties mean tthe Vila Belmiro, my most visited venue, will not see any games in 2014.
The sporting home for 17 years of Pele and of Santos today, is a sad absentee from the list of host grounds.

Who Are The Champions?

So the qualification is over, the play-offs were fixed decided, the TV companies were consulted to make sure that this years version of the FIFA seeding suited them, and then the draw was made. The banana skins have been predicted, the whipping boys nominated, all that is left is the countdown to the beginning of the tournament that will crown the World Champions at South Africa 2010.

But did you know that many past holders of that title are not there – indeed that some of them don’t even exist anymore. What’s more there may be a new holder of the title even before the whole business kicks off in Johannesburg and Cape Town on 11th June. Finally believe it or not, Scotland are the greatest team in the world.


Italy - NOT the World Champions






How can this be? The older among you (and not so old given their continued carping) may remember the Scots claim to be the World Champions because they beat the then World Cup holders England 3-2 at Wembley in 1967. After all you knock out the champ – you take his title!

This provided the spark that was to become the phenomenon that is the world of the Unofficial World Football Championships.

That was the premise of a 2002 caller to a radio talk show. The Guardian then picked up the baton, leading to various pieces of research that often contradicted each other. Paul Brown a freelance journalist and published football writer along with some like minded enthusiasts took on the task of proving the identity of the definitive Unofficial Football World Champions.

The agreed starting point was the first ever official international match, between Scotland and England that left no title holder, but England’s 4-2 victory in London 4 months later, gave us the first World Football Champions! Indeed the title was passed between the two teams until Scotland were defeated in Glasgow 2-0, by Ireland in March 1893. Wales first got their hands on the title 4 years later, again dethroning the Scots.

Of course there were very few “foreign” challengers for the first 55 years, until 1927, when Belgium were seen off by England with a 9-1 drubbing in Brussels. Luxembourg, Norway, Germany, Netherlands, and Austria all tried, but the Home Nations stubbornly retained their hold on the title, Northern Ireland getting their first taste of glory after a 2-0 victory over England in Belfast, later that same year.

The crown first left these shores in 1931, when Scotland (again) lost to the great Austrian side of the day, and for the next 18 months the title roamed Europe until restored to its rightful place when the Austrians were beaten 4-3 at Wembley. Just before the outbreak of World War II the title was snatched away from England by the now dismantled Yugoslavia. Indeed past holders also include, Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic and Slovakia), West Germany (now unified once more – E Germany never got their hands on the title), and the former Soviet Union, who’s splintered remains now seem to supply about a third of EUFA’s membership.

Strangely during the 2nd World War the title remained for the most part out of Germany’s hands. A propaganda victory over a weakened Hungary in 1941 was followed only days later by defeat to the Swiss, the UWFC returned briefly to Berlin in 1942, until they were relieved of the Crown by Sweden.

Unsurprisingly Germany never got close during the latter years of the war and indeed did not regain the title again until their group stage victory over Argentina during the1958 World Cup, ironically in Sweden, where they then lost it again to the hosts in the semi final.

The immediate post war years saw the home nations once more dominate the Unofficial Football World Championship. Until one day in the Brasilian mining city of Belo Horizonte the world was stunned by the “shot that was heard around the world” as Joe Gaetjens scored the goal that handed the USA not only a shock 1-0 win over England, but also the UWFC title.

Sadly they relinquished it just 3 days later when they were beaten 5-2 by Chile in Recife. Sadder still, having spent 4 years playing at FC Troyes in France Gaetjens returned to open a dry cleaning business in his native Haiti. Though himself an apolitical man, his family worked for the Haitian dictators rival. Despite warnings that he should leave the country, Gaetjens himself was taken in his own car at gun-point in 1964, and is assumed to have been executed by the Ton Tons Macoute of Papa Doc Duvalier.

Joe takes the title for the USA

Apart from Italy for a single game in 1956 and Germany’s week-long interruption during the 58 World Cup, the title belonged squarely to South America between 1952 and 1961, and not just with the big boys of Argentina and Brasil. While the title was in South America, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, and Uruguay, also spent time as “World Champions.”

The end of this period of domination saw perhaps the most unlikely event in the UWFC’s history. During the 1962 World Cup in Chile, Mexico failed to reach the quarter finals even with a 3-1 victory over the Czechs in their final group game, though perhaps as a consolation it did gain them the UWFC crown. BUT they lost it in their next match some 9 months later – a qualifier for the CONCACAF Trophy, when they were defeated by the footballing powerhouse that is…….... ..........Netherland Antilles…..currently down 4 places at 168 (out of 204) in FIFA’s rankings.

On several occasions both the Official and Unofficial World Championships have been decided in the same game. First when when Brasil and Pele ended Sweden’s brief reign in the 1958 Final and then in 1966 when England replaced the holders of just five days, West Germany, with a 4-2 win at Wembley in a game some people might remember.













Some.... people are on the Pitch…………they think England are the UWF Champions ………they are now!

The title also changed hands in the Final when the Dutch let slip the early lead they gained from the penalty. Jack Taylor had famously awarded the spot kick in just the 2nd minute at Munich’s Olympic Stadium in 1974. Argentina unseated the Dutch in a final once more in Buenos Aries four years later to get their hands on the title – something which the Pumas and Diego Maradona did slightly more literally against England in the Azteca Stadium which allowed them to then take the title from Belgium in the semi final at Mexico86.

Some of the other minnows of world football have come close;

In a 1974 Euro qualifier Greece came within 7 minutes of dethroning West Germany but were denied by Wimmer’s late equaliser. Were it not for that 83rd minute goal, the 2-0 victory for the home side in February 1975 on Malta’s “sand” pitch at Gzira would have seen the tiny Mediterranean island reign as Unofficial World Champions until they lost the reverse fixture 4-0 in Salonika in June of the same year.

Almost unbelievably if J Ruiz Gonzalez’s penalty equaliser had spurred them on to victory rather than the eventual 2-1 defeat to Russia, the World Champions in September 1999 would have been …………….ANDORRA!

Andorra 1 Russia 2
- unlucky lads!

The only time the Unofficial World Football Champions have hailed from Africa was during 2004/5, but not with Cameroon, Senegal, or Ivory Coast, but briefly Nigeria who took the No.1 spot from the Republic of Ireland, followed by Angola and then improbably, Zimbabwe held onto the crown with 7 victories and 2 draws until deposed by Nigeria once more.

Asia have had little success apart from a four day reign by Australia following a friendly victory over the USA in June of 92, and a similarly short period when the title went to South Korea in 1995 during a friendly tournament in Hong Kong

Current holders are The Netherlands who have sat at the top of the pile since beating Sweden in a friendly in November 2008. They may well go to South Africa as World Champions following a 0-0 draws with Italy and Paraguay, they have a friendly with the USA in March and presumably some fairly winnable warm-up games before South Africa 2010 kicks off.

And Scotland – the greatest ever team?

Well according to the UFWC rankings, Scotland are unofficially the No1. team in the world, ahead of second-placed England. Obviously both countries owe their place to the fact that they were initially the only teams involved and dominated international football during the period from its inception to the first World Cup.

Maybe other nations weren’t around to challenge for the title in the early days of international football but the UFWC’s own web-site www.ufwc.co.uk says “…..a key attribute of the UFWC is that its lineage goes right back to the very beginning of international football. Other nations came late to the table, after Scotland and England had already gorged themselves on the beautiful game.”

So Scotland tops the rankings on merit, despite the protestations of rival fans.

Plans to confirm the Unofficial Football World Club Champions were well in hand, but having passed through the hands of Liverpool, Ipswich, Bruges, Anderlecht and then Bayern Munich in the mid 70’s, the trail suddenly went cold when the last verified Unofficial Football World Club Champions, Bonner SC, were relegated from the 2nd Division North of West German football to the Verbandsliga Mittelrhein, a regional league, but who knows, if it is completed you may even find your favourite team in there somewhere …….watch this space!

Is it a film, a book, or a play?

The world’s greatest game, it obsesses millions not just on Saturday and/or Sunday, but throughout the week. So why is football so under represented in “the arts,” that fill the time between games for the average fan.

We watch TV, watch films, we read books, we may even read poetry. Whether it is Casualty, House or ER, Waking the Dead, Bones or, Taggart, Star Trek, Dr Who, or Battlestar Galactica. Hospitals, crime, and aliens fill our TV schedules, cinema listings and the shelves of all good bookshops. But where is the Football?


The less said about Dream Team and Footballers Wives the better. Many of us will remember the half time nonsense during our FA Trophy semi (Woking v Rushden 1995) with Rushden & Diamonds for George Cole’s "An Independent Man.” How many takes can you possibly need for an actor not to miss a tap in? The Manageress had its moments, and probably the best ever fictional football matches were in BBC’s Born Kicking, probably because the lead character’s fictional team was made up of Woking’s 1990/91 Squad.

In film we have….Escape to Victory….actually last time it was on I did watch, and Stallone’s penalty save was still as funny as ever.



I only told you to blow
the bloody doors off!

Or something…….






Goal 1/2/3 are better than the usual Hollywood produced sackurr movies, but only just. When Saturday Comes? Oh dear. There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble? The creator of Billy’s Boots should have sued. Though they did get around the tricky moral question as to whether Billy was cheating by wearing the boots. Jimmy's Boots belonged to someone who actually had no great talent. However the match scenes, shot at Maine Road were as poor as ever.


Here I actually envy the Americans their regimented, over-specialised, constantly pausing games of Baseball, Basketball, and American Football. They make great films. It just doesn’t seem as contrived as the last minute penalty or the mazy dribble past at least 15 defenders. A Relief Pitcher will come to strike out the last two batters in the bottom of the 9th. The last score in basketball usually is seconds or less before the buzzer, and games have been won with a hail-mary last ditch touchdown pass from 70 yards out.


Bull Durham and Field of Dreams, Hoosiers and Coach Carter, Rudy and The Longest Yard (Burt Reynolds NOT Adam Sandler) are all better movies, have better scripts and better scenes of the actual sport. The Game of Their Lives might step up to the plate (sorry even their metaphors are better) and the story of the US team that went to the 1950 World Cup and defeated England in Belo Horizonte might just deliver.


As for non-American productions, The Damned United is great, but it’s about a man, not the sport. Joyeux Noel/Merry Christmas, gets an honourable mention. After singing carols during the 1914 truce the soldiers played the famous match in no-man's land. The Germans apparently won 3-2, and the brass on both sides then ordered that a stop be put to “this madness,” and seemingly the cease-fire came to an end the way it started, by ,mutual consent.


OK so the beautiful game is difficult to re-create on screen – they gave it a go in Bloomfield – Richard Harris as a player coming to the end of his career, uncertain about his future.


Maybe the written word holds the answer, with our own imagination anything is possible. So what is the great football novel? Albert Camus, the Nobel Literature laureate, was a goalkeeper, and claimed that all he knew about morality and life, he had learned through football – but he never wrote about it. The truth is there just hasn’t been one. There are plenty of excellent books about real football, but in fiction, the best I can offer is Dominic Holland’s The Ripple Effect. The story of a fan’s desperate fight to save his club from relegation to The Conference.

We are often told how a player is Poetry in Motion, so perhaps the descendants of the bard can help us out…no. Neither John Betjamen, Ted Hughes, nor Andrew Motion, saw fit to address football, eminent poets all, ignoring the single subject that can hold a nation spellbound. So….I offer

Dumb as Hell by Barry Van Allen

I propose that the days of the week
be changed as follows
Startwork, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
Payday, Funday
Football

(Nice, but being from the US, he may well be talking about American football)
So I guess it’s up to me, and I make no apology for the event I chose

West Bromwich Albion 2 Woking 4

January afternoon
Grey rain falls from a Black Country sky
Muddy green
Cold seeking every exposed fingertip
FA Cup Saturday
Scalding Bovril and soggy programmes
Professionals
Draughtsmen, Plasterers and Cabbies
The fug of tobacco
Amid the unbelieving rose a steam of hope
Tribal solidarity
In wondrous belief we watched
The ball hesitated
And Timmy struck with an arc of sweet accuracy
We leapt in joyous unison,
As shaking cold droplets from its strands
The net bulged
With a shape that was beautiful
I cried
And hugged a stranger

Things we miss in Football 2

The Saturday results Edition

Right up until the end of my university days, the final act of a Football Saturday was often to pick up a copy of the regional results papers. They held that curious mixture of reports detailing seemingly minute by minute, the action of the first peroid of the game, followed by the necessarily briefest of goal or perhaps sending-off details for the 2nd half. Pity the poor local reporter faced with his deadline and a flurry of late goals, fights, or a pitch invasion that might well render the copy already submitted unrepresentative or worse just plain wrong.

In the 60’s and 70’s staying out too late playing football and missing Len Martin guiding you gently through Grandstand's Classified Results was not a problem - 10p or so on the way home got you all you needed to know about the days events.

They were made obsolete when mobile phones could provide goal alerts, and all the results of the day would be heard as you left the ground. Sadly who needs a late edition for the results when you could even watch the goals on a miniature LCD screen. But to football supporters of a certain age, nothing will really feel the same as as Norwich’s Pink Un’ and the call of “’owd Citee ge’ on?” from a shopper as you made your way to the bus-stop. Sheffield and Ipswich were green Un’s, Newcastle was The Pink – but all of them had their place in our Saturdays

Things we miss in Football 1

I know that The Times is running something along these lines - so what I hope is that people can add to these as we go along, this isn't necessarily about the professional game, but anything that those of us who are 'of a certain age,' can look back upon wistfully.

We played "World Cup" a free for all where 8 or 10 of us play all play against each other, and when you scored, you were through to the next round until it was 1 against 1 and you were out! And it was a long wait for the next tournament to start!

Goal hanging was frowned upon and instant kangaroo courts would decide if an individual wasn't putting in enough effort to justify getting the last touch just as the ball crossed 'the line.'

It was the only game where some people wanted to be in goal - the only way to ensure participation.

Looking Forward to The World Cup?

but which one?
The World Cup, Italy defending their crown from 2006. Although what about the Women’s World Cup won in 2007 with Germany beating the fast improving Brasilians. Of course we should not forget the Men’s AND Women’s under-20 and under-17 versions, held by Ghana and the Swiss for the Men, USA and North Korea for the Women. That’s the lot.

Well no actually, Brasil regained the Futsal World Cup in Rio last year, as well as this years edition of the “we can’t think of anything else to flog to TV companies so we’ll do it on the Beach" World Cup, that saw Brasil again claim a World title, this time in Dubai.

This is of course without considering the non FIFA- recognised, Deaf World Cup won by Ukraine and the USA Women’s Team. The Blind World Cup was won by the hosts Argentina in 2006. In 2010 this will take place at the Royal National College for The Blind in Hereford, this is not be confused with the Paralympic Blind Football competition ( but for which it will act as a qualifier) – current holders are Brasil.

The Homeless World Cup has had some publicity in the past and took place in Italy this year. Players must have been homeless at some time since the previous competition, (this event is annual unlike others) or be Asylum seekers without a work permit. Ukraine beat Portugal 5-4 in the 4 a side (+ 3 rolling substitutes) street soccer competition final.

You may not even know that a Youth “World Cup” has been running for over 70 years the Blue Star Tournament – named after the founding club, has been run by FIFA since 1981. The Manchester United team at the 1956 tournament included Bobby Charlton, and Germany's Helmut Haller also played in the Zurich based event that year, of course they were to meet again at Wembley in 1966. Over the years the the tournament has featured the likes of Roy Keane, Klaus Augenthaler, Mark Hughes, Markus Babbel, and Didi Hamann. The Giggs, Beckham Scholes & Neville generation of future Manchester Utd players, as well as Jay-Jay Okocha and Josep Guardiola all appeared in Zurich in the 90’s. This though of course is a club competition.

So does that mean we now have to include the god-awful World Club Championship fought out in the United Arab Emirates to our list. It follows the now familiar FIFA/EUFA protocol, a draw “arranged” so that barring an upset of cataclysmic proportions, the South American and European representatives will meet in the final.

More wholesome is the VIVA World Cup – this is a competition designed to bring together teams from indigenous ethnic groups and unrecognised territories. None of them are members of FIFA. The host’s, the Sapmi people of Sweden/Finland, stormed to victory in the women’s competition with an 11-1 thrashing of Iraqi Kurdistan, while the men’s team took third place with a 3-1 win over the same opponents. Sapmi is also called Lappland, but it is not known whether either team featured a rotund midfield general by the name of S. Claus.


The 2009 edition took place in Padania, using grounds in
Brescia, Varese and Verona. It featured Sapmi, Iraqi
Kurdistan and hosts Padania once more as well as teams
from Occitania, the coastal region of Northern France/Italy,
the French region of Provence, and the Maltese Island of Gozo. Padania won again, this time overcoming Iraqi Kurdistan in front of 3500 spectators. The Gozitans will host the next tournament at the newly re-furbished artificial turf ground of 2009-10 Champions Sannat Lions, as well as the 4,000 capacity Gozo Stadium in Xewkija. From May 31st to June 6th, teams from Padania, Kurdistan, Provence, Ocitania. Lapland, and a further two to be confirmed from the NF-Board will compete for the Nelson Mandela Trophy. The Female tournament still has to be confirmed. http://www.gozofootball.net/

VIVA’S Coming Home

My personal favourite is the FIFI Wild Cup (no that is not a typo), the Federation of International Football Independents. This is for actual nations or autonomous regions, that cannot gain FIFA recognition. First played in 2006, it featured Greenland (counted as part of Denmark by FIFA), Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, Zanzibar (part of Zambia), Gibraltar ( Gibraltar FA have applied for UEFA recognition, but this is always blocked by Spain,) and a team from Tibet. The Republic of St. Pauli entered a squad, representing the St Pauli area of Hamburg, which hosted the tournament.

For the tournament to take place at all took some determined fighting from organizer Jorg Pommeranz and FIFI, against the likes of FIFA and the Chinese Government. Their embassy in Germany sent a letter to FIFI, demanding it un-invite Tibet. FIFI refused, and FIFA then declared it had the right to cancel these matches. FIFI would not recognize their authority (my heroes) and carried on. They also had to overcome visa problems for the Northern Cypriot players to St Pauli – Patron Saint of FIFI’s enter Germany.

Northern Cyprus took the title in a penalty shoot out with Zanzibar and Gibraltar beat the hosts in the 3rd place play off.

The 2010 FIFI Wild Cup is slated for Greenland, , the Nuuk Stadium in the capital will play host to as many as 12 teams with the likes of Wallonia (southern Belgium) Sardinia & Western Sahara making their debut.

So pick out your spot in the "unique" main grandstand at Nuuk and now you know you can get those flights to Godthab booked for May 2010.

Who ate all the Whales? Who ate all the Whales?